The Gender Knot - Allan G. Johnson
"For example, when a man strips off his clothes in a nightclub act, he doesn’t also take off his dignity, autonomy, and power as a human being, because there’s nothing in patriarchal culture that would interpret his behavior as giving up anything of real value to the women who watch him perform. If anything, he can get the male-centered satisfaction of having his body admired by women who lack the social power to treat his body like admired property. His relation to women in the audience doesn’t reflect a larger social reality in which men’s bodies are routinely regarded as objects to be sought after and controlled by women. But a woman who strips does so in a very different social context that changes entirely the meaning of her behavior and that of the men who watch her. In a patriarchal culture, her body has significance primarily in relation to men who value rights of access and use through various forms of contract, force, or purchase, from the bonds of love or marriage to prostitution to rape. Men who pay women to strip in front of them do far more than pay to watch someone they find beautiful or arousing take off her clothes. They also participate in a much wider social pattern that defines women’s existence in relation to pleasing men, to meeting male standards of attractiveness, and to being available for men’s appropriation and use. To some degree, the price of admission buys men the right to feel, if only in short-lived fantasy, a sense of indirect control over women’s bodies. Women who watch men strip, on the other hand, will find little in mainstream patriarchal culture that supports viewing or treating men in this way." -
(via egyptiansoapbox)
: Coercive rape
There seems to be little information out there on coercive rape, and that is troubling because it is extremely prevalent. What is even more troubling is the lack of recognition coercion gets because it doesn’t fit an idealized rape script, and is often dismissed as merely “bad sex”, which it’s not.
In order to understand it, lets define rape first.
Rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse, which is initiated by one or more persons against another person without that person’s consent.
Consent is not just about saying yes, or a lack of a clear no. Consent only counts if it is enthusiastic, given by someone who is able to consent (sober) and was not obtained by coercion. Consent can also always be revoked.
This means that if your partner has not created a safe environment for you to say no, the consent was not given freely.
Coercion is simply anything a person does to make it harder for their partner to say no.
Some of the examples are :
Guilting (saying you owe them sex because they did something, such as pay for dinner)
Threatening body language
Nagging - Continually asking for sex after you have already said no
Verbally threatening
Manipulation
Blackmail
The list goes on.
*shouts* TILT SHIFT IS SO FUCKIN COOL
"I knew it wasn’t too important but it made me sad anyway." - J.D. Salinger (via idiotshitbaby)
"When I started, it was all meter maids or the sassy nurse, or the sassy receptionist in the hospital. And I felt like: Are those the only jobs that large, black women have?" -
Retta, on the roles she would be offered in Hollywood.
“Casting directors, who don’t necessarily know me — all they get are pictures. So they see your face, and they’re like, ‘Oh, we can place her in this or that.’ “
Check out NPR’s story on actors of color navigating stereotypes in Hollywood.
(via theknopeway)
me bottoming for the first time
- me: eats a snack while making a snack
On sale now! “I don’t want to see or be seen by straight people” patches by Sam Alexander
Sam makes ALL THE BEST PATCHES.
They also made the “Fuck You White Boy” and “#1 Babe” patch aka ALL THE BEST PATCHES.
